‘BigFoot’ The ‘Hide and Go-Seek’ Champion of the World

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Human beings are hilarious. One of the things that make human beings so unique in the animal kingdom, is our collective predilection for conspiratorial mythology. In simpler terms, we love a good ghost story. Better still, we love a good ghost story that involves a government cover-up. All things nefarious. These days there is little difference between Vampires and the Federal Reserve, in the minds of far too many. Stories and/or legends of a hairy, unusually large ape-like creature that walks upright have proliferated for decades, in every continent on the globe. Like God, there are many names for it, him, them.

In a way, a big part of me wants the existence of this so-called ‘Bigfoot’ and/or ‘Yeti’, and/or ‘Skunk Man’ to be verified in some rational, intelligent manner. An eyewitness with intellectual bonafides that are unimpeachable, would be a step in the right direction. This of course in the absence of that ever elusive ‘hard physical evidence’. Within the same part of my soul that would like this verification, is the yearning for concrete knowledge of the existence of ‘Aliens’. The ‘little green men’ kind.  It would be amazing to know for sure if even the most minute part of the hyper speculation that so-called ‘Ancient Astronaut Theorists’ engage in,  had some basis in reality. For now, we are all subject to their conjecture and imagination(s). At times it can be quite comical,  their insistent correlations of ancient hieroglyphs to space traveling aliens. The inference being that if you stare at something long enough a martian will appear. The Incas in Peru, the Ancient Egyptians, the Native American Indians, The inhabitants of rural America, and many others, all have their versions and interpretations of other worldly beings.

Taking all of the speculation into account, there is one issue that continues to gnaw at my intellect. Quite simply, the lack of ‘Bigfoot’ skeletons and/or fossils. Dinosaur fossils have been found on every continent on Earth. They roamed the earth for some 65 million years, and we started finding their remains sometime circa 1820, and we keep finding them. Where are the skeletal remains of the ‘Bigfoot’? I’d be satisfied with just one. Eyewitness testimony, Footprint casts,  amateurish photographs, and grainy video of questionable repute just doesn’t cut it. I need to see bones. It’s a macabre request to be sure, but there is no reason that I can think of that we haven’t found any bones, anywhere on earth. Except the most obvious reason, which is that ‘Bigfoot’ doesn’t exist, and has never existed outside of the imagination. This lack of evidence is remarkable, and the number one reason that I can’t take the ‘Bigfoot’ issue anymore seriously than the legend of Santa Claus. The difference being that I know for sure Santa Claus doesn’t exist. There aren’t enough hours in a night, or enough suitable chimneys in our world. The bottom line is without a ‘Bigfoot’ skeleton, if in fact they exist, then the only rational conclusion is that ‘Yeti’ is the ‘Hide and Go-Seek’ champion of the world.

There is always the remote possibility that one of these days a 100% true blue ‘Bigfoot’ skeleton will be discovered. The kind that can be assembled and showcased in the Museum of Natural History to the astonishment of the world. That would be something, wouldn’t it? So would the return of the so-called ‘Ancient Astronauts’ who allegedly visited earth thousands of years ago, helped in the construction of the Pyramids and various temples of worship the world round, then abruptly picked up their toys and departed. Apparently they haven’t returned, yet. Unless of course theres something to that Roswell, New Mexico thing in 1947, or the Barney and Betty Hill incident in New Hampshire from 1961. In either case, when it comes to ‘Bigfoot’. I need to see a carcass, skeleton, or skull. I’d even settle for a pinky toe bone, a big one. Until then, you can join the incredible speculation on episodes of ‘Ancient Aliens’ which airs on the History Channel, Sunday evenings.